Blonde Jokes. Star If You Like Them.?

How many sheep do I have?
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd
who was tending to them.
“If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?” she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
“You have 171 sheep,” said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked,
“if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?”
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. “You’re a blonde! Now give me back my dog.”
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MAIL!
You’ve got mail
A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it,
closed the door of the box, and went back in the house.
A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.
She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented:
“You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box.”
The blonde answered, “No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail.”
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One wish to each
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie’s lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, “I will grant three wishes, one for each of you.”
The first said, “I wish I were smarter.”
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, “I wish I were smarter than she is.”
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, “I wish I were smarter than both of them!”
So, she became a man.
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What type of prize did you win?
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it.
She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab,
she begins screaming, “I won a motor home! I won a motor home!”
The waitress runs over and argues, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!”
The blonde replies, “No. I won a motor home!”
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, “You couldn’t possibly have
won a motor home because we didn’t have that as one of our prizes.”
Again the blonde says, “There is no mistake! I won a motor home!”
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”
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Do you realize what I am?
A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke,
when halfway through the priest interrupts her, “Don’t you know I’m Polish?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the blonde apologizes, “do you want me to start over and talk slower?”
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Helping a blond lose weight
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks.
The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.

Blonde Jokes .. Funny Or Not?

Magic Mirror
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think…’ and it sucked her in.
Speeding Ticket
A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.
The policeman walks up to the blonde and says “Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.”
The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”